Sunday, July 6, 2008

My name is not Susan...

For as long as I've been active in internet discussions regarding charlatans and the paranormal, my true identity has been of some concern for both psychics and their followers. They want to know my real name. Why? I don't know. But since they have been so eager, I have found it best to stay anonymous. Some of the louder followers seem to be psychologically unstable, so you never know...

Lately, several psychics have declared that they actually know who I am. One of the contestants in Psychic Academy (the Swedish version of Psychic Challenge), Mr Johan Lundberg, approached me at the Swedish Skeptics forum,, and declared that he had identified me. Apparently, I had made some sort of mistake somewhere that lead him on the right track. He didn't want to post the name out in the open forum, so we agreed that he would send it in a private PM and I would answer truthfully. I did. And I also posted the name on the open forum for all to see. Mr Lundberg was totally wrong. But he doesn't trust me so he probably still thinks my name is the one he suggested.

But wait a minute! This self-deluded man thinks that he receives information from spirits, that he can speak to the departed! How come he is dead wrong on such an easy task as finding out my real name? And isn't his way of finding it out superfluous when he could take a shortcut and ask the Other side? I had to make a mistake first!? Psychic, my ass... Mind you, Mr Lundberg gets all cranky when you call him "psychic", you have to call him "psychic in training". Anyway, he got thrown out of Psychic Academy, failed in his attempt to put together a Swedish Psychic Association, and now keeps a low profile. But it won't be long before he is fully "trained", I guess, and busy ripping people off.

Another charlatan who claims to know my name is Mrs Elisabeth Lannge. She has "seen" it, whatever that means. But she won't say what it is until I decide to announce it in public. Yep, she knows it but I have to say it first... Remember the arguments you used to hear in Kindergarden? Smells just the same, doesn't it? But this old bag claims superior insight and contact with the dead - are the spirits not able to tell her that she is displaying the rhetoric capacity of a five-year-old? It is truly amazing that there are grown-ups who take Mrs Lannge seriously. She's not even house-broken -- when she abruptly left the judging panel of Psychic Academy and left her fellow swindlers gasping, she clearly demonstrated that it's her way or the highway. You'd better rub her up the right way or you're in for a verbal frenzy.

Next in line is Mrs Elisabeth Johansson, an upcoming tarot-tart who claims that she has seen me at the entrance of some psychic demonstrations, so she knows who I am. What makes this pathetic liar hilarious is that she actually has met me once, but in a totally different context and setting. But isn't it educational to see how she, and her peers, so easily make things up in order to gain prestige in the eyes of the gullible mob that flocks around her?

Perhaps it's time to announce the Garvarn Challenge; any psychic who claims to know my identity is hereby invited to e-mail me his or her suggestion and if it is correct, I promise to post a full declaration here on the blog with due credits to the psychic who made it. Nope, no money award this time -- just the glory. And Torbjörn Sassersson, the ravin lunatic "editor" of, is invited too. His wisdom always cracks me up...


  1. BTW, what is "Psychic Academy"? A TV show? What's the Swedish name?

  2. Hi martin! The Swedish title of the show is "Akademien för det okända". It was broadcast on TV4+, if I remember it correctly.

  3. It has been brought to my attention that the deluded "psychic in training", Mr Johan Lundberg, persists in thinking that he knows my identity. So poor AE (initials of the person Lundberg has suggested) has to keep getting blamed for my activities. If this accuracy is typical of Lundberg's psychic ability, I think he should continue his "training" for a long, long time. And the tarot-tart that once told him he was probably psychic should probably stay off the booze for a while... Although Lundberg hasn't mailed me his suggestion I consider it a failure, so the Challenge is still on.

    Martin, if you read this, you have met me once, would you be able to confirm that I am not AE? For his sake...

    Best regards,

  4. Actually, I'm crap at names and don't remember yours. I'm always pleased to see a pretty woman, and I'm pretty sure I'll recognise you the next time we meet.

  5. Damn, Martin... Flaunting my gender all over the internet like that! I thought it was in the interest of the Conspiracy to keep it a secret...